Some Vacation
by SeventhSenses
Summary: Sora's sitting alone on the beach but he can't seem to stay alone. Lost in though, Sora's heart can't be in the right place... [Oneshot]


AN: Something I wrote late at night over spring break, which could be a good or bad thing. It turned out pretty well I think, although I made sure to edit it a few times to make sure I'd gotten rid of all the bad late night typos.

Disclaimer: Usual stuff, obviously don't own anything except the story idea.

-------

Sora sat on the beach on Destiny Island. He could feel the water lightly tickle his feet as the sun fell behind the water. It was another summer, and almost as a pact he was once more on Destiny Island with his two best friends, Riku and Kairi. Though they were his best friends, Sora couldn't stand the thought of talking to them right now, which would explain why he was by himself on the beach.

It's not like he was mad at Riku or Kairi, and they definitely weren't mad at him. Just the last few times he had talked to them something was different. There was an undeniable tension which had somehow always been avoided before then. They had all recently turned 17, an age where sexuality started to come into play more than anything. Sora had tried to ignore it, but even the usually happy brunette had to admit there was a problem.

Sora sighed as he looked out at the sunset. It was beautiful and simple, as everyone knew there was nothing confusing about a sunset. That was part of what Sora liked about it. He could understand a sunset, for he could understand that the sunset would happen everyday without fail. Maybe that was one of the reasons he had come to the exact same spot on the beach everyday, to reassure himself that some things make sense.

"Sora," a soft voice called.

At first Sora didn't even look, convincing himself that it was the ocean. After all, no one else was out at this time of night, much less who wanted to talk to him.

"Sora," the voice called again, this time sounding more concerned.

Sora looked up, finally realizing the others presence on the beach.

"Oh Kairi," Sora sighed, he hadn't been avoiding her but there was no denying he hadn't been as friendly or as talkative lately.

"Are you okay?" Kairi asked, taking a seat next to him, "You seem a bit distant…"

Sora shook his head, "Just enjoying the sunset…."

"By yourself?" Kairi asked, almost sounding a bit amused.

"What's so weird about that?" Sora sighed, so lost in thought he couldn't remember that watching the sunset was usually done in couples.

"Isn't there someone you'd want to be watching with?" Kairi said, stroking Sora's hand idly, "This is something usually better done in couples, asking someone to watch the sunset with you is kind of a romantic gesture."

"I'm not in a relationship," Sora said quietly, "It's better that way. I'm not capable of romantic gestures Kairi, I'm just not…"

"Don't say that," Kairi whispered desperately, "You're as capable of being romantic as anyone Sora. You're as capable of love."

"You don't understand Kairi," Sora said in an almost inaudible whisper, "I'm not being modest…. I can't."

"Of course you can," Kairi whispered back determinedly, "Just let yourself go."

Kairi leaned in close to Sora, 'Too close,' he thought. She placed her hands around his neck and waited for a minute, as if to compose herself. Not a moment later, she leaned in even further, gently touching her lips to Sora's. Though she felt no response, Kairi held her position for as long as she could before breaking away.

"You'll have to try harder than that," Kairi pleaded, "I know you can do it Sora."

"I can't do it," Sora said, avoiding Kairi's gaze and looking back toward the ocean.

The sun sank lower to the water, and Sora sighed again as Kairi moved closer.

"Kairi please," Sora said quietly, "Don't do that again…"

Kairi nodded, "I won't Sora. I just need to be close to you."

Sora looked away as Kairi latched onto his arm, attempting to snuggle with him. He didn't resist, it was pointless and he knew it. He almost felt bad for her.

"Shouldn't you be going to bed?" Sora asked Kairi quietly, his leg was starting to go numb under her weight.

"I just wanted to spend more time with you," Kairi murmured, her eyelids drooping, "I'll be fine."

"I think I'd prefer if you left," Sora said quietly, trying his best not to upset her.

"Why?" Kairi asked, clearly hoping she was making some sort of progress.

"I prefer watching the sunset by myself," Sora replied truthfully, having Kairi there was just awkward, and confusing.

Kairi nodded and stood up, trying her best not to look disappointed.

"I love you Sora," Kairi whispered quietly.

"I can't love you Kairi," Sora replied sadly, his voice dropping to a whisper, "Don't love me."

Kairi shook her head, a single tear rolling down her cheek.

"I'll always love you Sora," Kairi said softly, "No matter how much you say you can't love me, and how much you tell me to move on, I'll always love you."

Sora nodded, he had figured as much. It couldn't be helped though, it was better to tell her now, when she still had a chance of moving on and loving again.

Kairi walked away, the skip in her step had vanished as the tears ran more freely down her face. She knew then that life wasn't fair, and it had taken her that long to realize it. She was too innocent for her own good, too fragile.

Sora briefly thought about calling out to her, speaking false words of comfort. He couldn't do it, and he knew he could never hurt her like that.

'It's not my fault,' Sora thought, 'It's not hers either. It's not her decision who she loves. Her heart decides it for her.'

Sora settled himself back on the beach, watching the few remaining minutes of the sunset. The sky was getting darker and the fireflies were coming out, soon they would be Sora's only light.

"Sora," another voice called out.

Sora turned his head and found Riku walking toward him.

"Hey," Sora said, internally cursing himself for being in the same place every night.

"I was hoping to talk to you today," Riku said, settling down beside Sora on the sand, "But whenever I saw you it always looked like you were busy."

"What did you want to talk to me about?" Sora asked, meeting Riku's eyes for the first time that day.

Riku shrugged, trying to act cool, "Nothing in particular I guess, but seeing as this was a vacation for the three of us I haven't talked to you much."

"I've been catching up with some of the other islanders," Sora replied, looking at a nearby firefly, "I haven't talked to Tidus in forever."

"Fair enough I guess," Riku hesitated, "But are you really okay? You do seem a bit off…."

"I'm fine," Sora snapped.

"Just asking," Riku said, and for the first time Sora could remember he actually looked hurt.

"Sorry I snapped at you," Sora sighed, "I've just had a lot on my mind lately, that's all…"

"Is there anything you want to talk to me about?" Riku asked.

Sora glanced at Riku only to find the most sincere expression plastered across his face.

"You wouldn't get it…" Sora mumbled.

"How do you know?" Riku asked, placing a hand on Sora's shoulder, "Let me try to help, please?"

"No one can help me," Sora said lightly, "Because I have no problem. Just thoughts that lead to nothing and uncertainties most people wouldn't even dream about."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Riku asked, tilting Sora's head so he was facing him.

"I don't want to think about it," Sora admitted, "I need a distraction. That's why I come here to watch the sunset, and I know it's the only thing that has a chance of taking my mind off of things."

"I think I know something else that might?" Riku said slowly.

Sora looked at Riku uncertainly. There was something about Riku's tone that made Sora feel very uncomfortable.

Riku pushed the hair that had fallen in Sora's face back. He put his hand lightly on the brunette's cheek, caressing it softly. He hesitated for a moment before leaning forward and pressing his lips hard against Sora's. Sora didn't kiss back and pretty soon fell over due to the sheer intensity of the kiss. That didn't seem to bother Riku, who had decided instead to straddle Sora's stomach and continue kissing him. Riku eventually pulled away to take a breath.

"Can you get off of me Riku?" Sora asked quietly, he was vaguely aware that it was the second time that night he was kissed against his will.

"If you want me to," Riku said, rolling off the brunette and lying beside him in the sand, his hand still clasping Sora's firmly.

Sora just stayed there, watching the fireflies above as Riku stared at him. After Sora could no longer pretend he didn't notice Riku he turned his head slightly.

"What's the real reason you came to see me tonight?" Sora asked lightly, hoping that Riku wouldn't answer what he though he would.

"I can't stay away from you," Riku murmured softly, "I love you."

Once more, Sora sighed and repeated himself, "I can't love you Riku. Don't love me."

"I don't care if you say that," Riku said quietly, "I can't help how I feel Sora. You know that already though, don't you?"

Sora nodded again, "I think you should leave now."

Riku nodded, tears gleaming in his eyes that he wouldn't let fall.

Sora felt bad for Riku, he knew that to even upset him was quite a task, but to literally bring tears to his eyes?

'It's not my fault,' Sora thought to himself once more, 'It's not his fault either. He can't help how he feels, his heart chooses who he loves.'

Sora sighed as the sunset finally died. The last ray of hope of having a normal life seemed to die with it. Sora had hurt both of his friends, but he meant what he said. He couldn't love. He could love them as his friends, but not how they loved him.

Sora stretched out and watched the stars appear. He didn't ask to be like this. He wanted to be able to love, be able to return their feelings, but he couldn't. It wasn't something he made up, and it wasn't something he chose. Sora just couldn't love.

---------

AN: Poor Kairi, poor Riku... Ah well, they'll get over it eventually right? I mean honestly here people, poor Sora! He can't love... Oh, but at least he didn't say word for word the same thing to Riku as Kairi right? Thanks for reading, leave a review if you can!


End file.
